Archive for the 'Emoticons and Dead Mice' Category

Emoticons and Dead Mice: Part Three

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If you refuse to take this shit, please leave this site and go here.

I cannot stress this further: I have nothing against Engineers. They are a nice bunch (mostly). Yes, even those who can’t speak English for nuts. Here at warinthepocket, we do not discriminate. I think.

Dear readers, with great pleasure:


The final:

Emoticons and Dead Mice: Part Three

In the posts I have covered the term ‘diao’. Now, I will go into detail on the term ‘testis’.

Here’s a sample. (This was posted last time, in case you haven’t seen it.)








Basic
ally, ‘testis’ in the ah lian dictionary is shorthand for the word ‘testimonials’. Those of you who are Friendster users will be familiar with the testimonial system.

Now let me refer to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary for the definition of the word ‘testimonial’.

Main Entry: 2testimonial
Function: noun
1 : Evidence; Testimony

2 a : a statement testifying to benefits received b : a character reference : letter of recommendation
3 : an expression of appreciation : Tribute

Ok, that I guess we know why there is a testimonial system in Friendster. Anyone can guess, that is, to promote good will and trust.

As mentioned, many people have taken to shortening this word from ‘testimonials’ to ‘testis’, or from ‘testimonial’ to ‘testi’. So we now have plural and single nouns.

Here comes the good part.

Let us refer to the same dictionary on the definition of ‘testis’

Main Entry: tes·tis
Pronunciation:
'tes-t&s
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural tes·tes /
'tes-"tEz/
Etymology: Latin, witness, testis
: a typically paired male reproductive gl

and that produces sperm and that in most mammals is contained within the scrotum at sexual maturity

Gasp!! ‘testis’ actually refers to testicles aka balls?! I’m shocked!! This means that we have a totally new way of looking at things.

Ah Lian: Please write for me a testi

Interpretation:

1) Please write for me a testimonial

2) Please write for me a BALL?!

Of all the crude wordplay jokes I’ve heard, this one is one of the best!!!! Please write for me a gonad? This is so funny! Don’t tell me that nobody who uses these phrases have ever thought of this?

Oh, I’m getting a side stitch writing this.. Looks like I’m having a ball of a time! (Pun intended.)

Here comes the best part. I will now show you the whole grand scheme of things.



It seems like everything on Earth has a purpose. This is so very ironic. I mean, ‘diao’ with ‘testis’, if you translate it to what I have interpreted it to be, you’ll know what it means..

Ok, one last point. These MSN users have managed to become ‘one with the force’, by using the ultimate dogma of DIAOness summarised in one picture.



Well, they say a picture speaks a thousand words!

Finally, the pieces of the puzzle all fit together! We now draw to the end of the Emoticons and Dead Mice trilogy. I hope that you have enjoyed yourself. Thank you for reading!

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Emoticons and Dead Mice: Part Two

Disclaimer: Just because someone else got photos before I did, you are not allowed to gloat. Therefore if you have an axe to grind, you are kindly invited to leave, NOW. By entering this site, you will renounce your right to sue, defame, hack, firebomb, assassinate, disfigure, lay arms on, the author. If you refuse to take this shit, please leave this site and go here.

Oh, and I have nothing against Engineers. They are nice people. Mostly.

Dear readers, the long awaited:

Emoticons and Dead Mice: Part Two

I’ve mentioned about the photographs, which can be found on Christopher’s blog. Go to the side and look for it yourself. It’ll only take up so many ATP molecules.

After concluding an extremely severe brain and immune system damaging Hazard ANALysis Critical Control Point (HACCP) project, I have decided to continue on this post. I will go into further detail on ‘fwensterz terminologiesss’ in this instalment.

For all you people who do not know the dark side, ‘fwensterz terminologiesss’ is actually ‘friendster terminology’. For those who do not know what Frienster is, please ask your friends. For those who do not know what the word ‘terminology’ means, please check a dictionary. Ok, enough poppycock.




I’m sure you will find the following extremely familiar, as well as:








(In case you are unable to interpret this picture,
it says that ‘the idiot ah lian has only 700 testimonials on friendster and she’s complaining’. Exact words by Clare.)

Now let’s investigate what DIAO actually tries to say. ‘DIAO’ is apparently intended to give the effect of something like,

-_-“

You see?

However, let me quote from the Prince of Mandopop, His Diao-ness Jay Chou. Taking reference from a time magazine article

http://www.time.com/time/asia/magazine/printout/0,13675,501030303-425958,00.html

Finally, he leans in close: “Let me tell you about diao.”

Diao is a Taiwanese slang usually translated as “cool” or “outrageous.” It literally means “penis.”

“It’s my personal philosophy,” he explains, “but it has nothing to do with religion. It means that whatever you do, you don’t try to follow others. Go your own way, you know?”

http://www.time.com/time/asia/magazine/printout/0,13675,501030303-425958,00.html

What?! DIAO is ‘penis’?! So now we see people going around DIAO, DIAO!? If we go around shouting ‘penis, penis!’ they’ll surely be arrested! So why not the same for shouting DIAO DIAO?

Allow me to sidetrack. A few weeks back The English Police and a few of their classmates were studying at NYP’s library, when the Inspector Sir Clement the Great decided to make use of this device. Then a few seconds later, shouts of “DIAO! DIAO!” were heard. Based on police surveillance, The English Police concluded the perpetrators to be Ah Bengs from SEG. Look, don’t accuse me of being an engineer basher. I have a healthy respect for engineers.

But not for stupid Ah Bengs!

In any case, can the word ‘Diao’ be accepted in common news? It’s like modern usage of ‘Wah lao’, a polite version of ‘Wah LAN’. I shall not explain what ‘Wah LAN’ means, because most of you are intelligent and well-informed people. But you see, no matter how polite try to be, ‘Wah lao’ in essence is still a crude word. This may be controversial to people of our generation and after, but the old people take ‘Wah lao’ and ‘Wah LAN’ to be equal and no less severe when compared.

So much for the evolution of LANguage.

But there are always two sides to a coin, and I have taken into account both sides. Should we continue to use to word ‘Diao’ to express either coolness or dismay? The choice is easy to make. The next instalment will cover on ‘Testis’.

Thank you and God love you!

Today’s post was sponsored by the Profanities Squad of the Royal English Police.

Emoticons and Dead Mice: Part One

Disclaimer: If you cannot tolerate vivid descriptions of scientific experimentation of animals, you are kindly invited to leave, NOW. By entering this site, you will renounce your right to sue, defame, hack, firebomb, assasinate, disfigure, lay arms on, the author. If you refuse to take this shit, please leave this site and go here.

Without further ado, I bring you:

Emoticons and Dead Mice: Part One

We cut up 6 dead mice on Tuesday for cell technology. Sorry, I couldn’t get hold of any photos so far.

It was quite a sombre affair, especially during the carbon dioxide gassing. I didn’t get to see it, because it was too crowded. The dissection began shortly. I teamed up with Sanjeev and Elicia. I cut open the skin The rest was done by Sanjeev. He opened the visceral membrane and extracted the spleen. I must comment that his techinique was quite smooth. There was no fat stuck to the spleen at all. Excellent. There was no blood spilt. We didn’t nick any of the blood vessels.

I did the mashing up of the spleen, with the back of a syringe. Such strange improvision. What? Is NYP too poor to buy proper mortars and pestles? Never mind… In any case, the experiment took pretty long. Plenty of centrifugation.

It was a nice experiment! Next time I’ll cut up something bigger!

Now about emoticions.. Their use in IM conversations has proliferated greatly. The latest trend seems to be that of substituting a particular word or letter with an animation.

That wasn’t a very good sample. Maybe something like this will do better?

Holy shit….what the hell was that? I took about 3.34354664665 minutes just to read that line?! Either the writing is illegible, or my reading skills have been reduced to that of a toddler. I don’t think the latter is true, so we’ll have to go with the former. But hey, kids are getting smarter nowadays, you know what I mean?

Don’t you find this kind of writing annoying? It’s bad enough that your sentences are consisted mainly of such animations. Now, what could be worse than that?

Big animations, just like this! Spamming, I tell you!

But wait, there’s more. In their effort to attract more attention (acting cute, I’d say), they seem to have had so much practice, that some of them don’t even realise that they use such animations in their conversations! Ok, maybe your kid brother/sister was using your profile (I’m sure…), but that’s a lousy excuse really…

anD doN’t LeT me gEt sTartED On thE uSAgE Of tYpINg sUCh As thiS!! Ors fwensterz terminologiesss such as diaoZZZzzZz and testis w0rzz!!

Oh my God, I think I just became more stupid.

I will go into further detail on ‘fwensterz terminologiesss’ in the next installment! Thank you and God love you!

This post is a public service announcement by the Royal English Police.


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