Archive for the 'Dreams' Category

This must be what going mad feels like!

Recently I’ve been having a lot of weird dreams. This one is by far one of the worst. It’s so bad, I prefer not to write much about it. Just a bit:

Do not under any circumstances, let a schoolgirl without any form of driving licence, operate any form of heavy vehicles (especially trucks), while texting on a cellphone, when the cops are around!

And not especially when you are in the front seat and you have passengers. The consequences are catastrophic.

Final damage: 3 badly damaged vehicles (2 cars and our truck), passengers with broken bones in the other cars, 1 million dollars of suspended fines, and my whole family is suspended from driving. The only silver lining is that our family sticks together through hard times.


‘Ian, this is the last time I’m going to warn you. You have not been picking up my calls nor replying my messages!’

‘No, no, we were busy with a camp, that’s why I didn’t call you sooner.’

‘Excuses. As the representative for your organization, it is your responsibility to show up for meetings.’

‘You are just forcing me to attend! We are already being represented by our superior! We need not show up.’

‘To hell with her! You cannot always follow what your superiors ask you to do.’

‘I see. So that’s what it’s  really all about.’

I watch too many spy films…

woah! I had this super action dream yesterday!!

I dreamt that I was inside some evil corporation headquarters and they were making some biological weapons there. So I infiltrated the company with a friend. Some guy, I can’t remember who. So we were led down the elevator to this basement, and suddenly they pushed us out of the lift and closed the doors. We opened the doors in that level but behind the doors were concrete walls! We were trapped! There were some other hostages there too. We found some reinforced glass windows and tried to smash them with metal chairs and wooden planks. Eventually we managed to break the glass but then some bad guys were about to come through the door. So I hid behind the door and smashed him on the head with the metal chair. We managed to fight our way back into the lift and kill the guards.

We stopped at a certain level and some enemy bosses entered the lift. It looked like one of the weapons were released and they were scrambling to evacuate .We pulled them into the lift and started beating them up. After beating them to pulp, we escaped through the ground level lobby.

Then for some reason, I was in some shopping centre. And I had to face off with this gunman bent on killing me. We had Mark 23 Socoms. Suddenly another gunman barged in and he said, “Well, well! Are we having a western showdown here?!”. He pointed his pistol at my forehead, but the first gunman sidestepped behing him and shot him in the head. We ran out of the shop and started firing away. I took cover inside some crystalware shop and the saleslady looked frightened. I said to her, “Get down and you will be all right!”. Once again the bad guys started firing at me. I stepped out and shot back. The other gunman and I moved as one team and terminated the opposing force.

The end!


A few days ago I had some funny dreams. You know those maintainence corridors you exit through after you leave the cinema? Somehow I managed to make my way in there, sneaking past the guard. I wanted to sneak into one of the theaters. Along the way I took cover between the hollows of the wall, then I came across this doors which had a sign above and said ‘Maintainence’. Or was it ‘Admin’? Ah, I don’t know. My shoe laces came off so I hid there. But I didn’t expect the door to open! There were these two girls there. I was afraid that they would sound the alarm, so I distracted them by talking to them. The one with glasses was cute, but I think they were not very impressed with my words. I could tell from their tone that they were getting bored. So I decided to leave them and move on. What I didn’t expect was that the girl without the glasses came out and handed me a sheet of paper. It had not one telephone number, but two! It was the handphone and house line numbers of the bespectacled girl. How funny!

So I was very pleased and all, and so happy that I went the wrong way! I went the way I came in and there was this guard standing there. At this moment a show just ended. So the guard thought I was one of them, and asked me to follow the crowd.

The next day I had another dream. I dream that I was fighting with some Malay punks. I was also shot at by police. I bet with this officer that I wouldn’t die even if he shot me. So I sat down somewhere, crossed myself and put my hands in prayer. The first two bullets went to my fingers. It felt like needles. The other two shots went to my head, and they felt like needles too. Now guess what? I didn’t die!

Lies and Truth

Common tests start tomorrow. I managed to finish most of the revision. I just hope that I can pull this off flawlessly.

I went to St Anne’s Church fun fair today. They were having their Feast Day. I bought one of those wrist bands. This one says, “Defend Life!” It glows in the dark too!

Some young teacher in Maris Stella died. I never knew her. She was a new teacher. It was heart failure, according to the official story. However, I am not going to speculate on the unofficial story. I will just continue to pray, for the living and the dead.

Even if the school authorities are withholding the truth from everyone, I guess they have a reason to. It, is a dirty word. Go figure.

Before Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger the so-called ‘Panzerkardinal’ became Benedict XVI this year, in the year 2000 he said, “Truth has always bothered people and is never comfortable.” I guess that is true. (no pun intended!) I mean, how long can we run away?

We should instead turn around and run forward.

Have you ever wondered what your dreams are supposed to mean? Well, I’d like to know. I’ve had many strange dreams in the past one year. My dreams are like a mirror of my life. They tell me what I am, and what I am not. But I have never succeeded in understanding them fully. Maybe it’s meant to be this way?

It is very hard to forget the dreams of old. But I try to forget the impossible ones.

君が見えなくて 見えなくて






Lies and Truth 墜ちてゆく


誰より大切なのに 信じてる気持ち揺れてる



(I can’t see you, can’t see you
I call out countless times
Though you’re this close to me
I miss you… I can’t stop it
Even if I hold you so tight you seem about to break
You don’t realize it

Lies and truth, I’m falling
I can’t find the truth
Though I treasure you more than anyone
My belief in you wavers
Even if I hold you so tight you seem about to break
You don’t realize it)

L’arc en ciel – Lies and Truth


I have been sleeping quite late these past few days. Yesterday I was quite restless. Ask my classmates then you’ll know. On Monday or Sunday I had a strange dream. I dreamt that there were people queuing up for confession, with the bus interchange rails. So I went to join the queue. This priest raised the Sacred Host in front of me. So, I went to another priest. Before he gave the absolution, I disappeared into thin air. I was in this desert. And I was trapped in this woman’s body. She was wearing a white dress I think. I asked her what she wanted. She said she was here to torment me. I asked her to stop, but she kept taunting me. Taunting me about what? I cannot remember. Oh, there was a song about kites in my dream. It is similar to some campfire song, but I can’t remember which one, nor the lyrics of the song in my dream.

Hmm yesterday was funny. Clement, Camilius, Elicia and I went to film our video for the presentation. It’s damn funny. Camilius is acting as a rapist and Elicia as the victim. Clement is the cameraman. I’m supposed to be some forensics guy. We’ll probably continue filming this afternoon.

Tuesday…I went to play pool with Arden, Clement and Josephine aka K-Box at AMK. Arden is damn good. I have to learn from him, or my skill will suck forever. Tuesday night had band, tried to learn some xylophone, played some triangle. Sigh..nothing much really.. Now I have to learn the scales.. Oh boy. Monday night had sectionals. This 58 year old Polish immigrant ex-SSO percussionist came to tutor us. He lives in AMK with his wife and he’s got a 6-month old child. His session was super draggy, and we almost got locked in the sports complex. Bah. I should go sleep now.

Ikutsumono tane wo ano oka e ukabete
Kireina hana wo shikitsumete ageru
Hayaku Mitsukete Mitsukete
Koko ni iru kara
Okosareru no wo matteru noni
Itsudemo kimi no egao ni yurete
Taiyou no you ni tsuyoku saiteitai
Mune ga Itakute Itakute Kowaresou dakara
Kanawanu omoi nara Semete karetai!

Scattering many seeds upon that hill
I will spread beautiful flowers all over for you
Quickly Find me Find me
Because I am here
Although I’m waiting to be woken up
I am always waving in your smile
I want to bloom vigorously like the sun
Because my heart hurts and hurts and is about to break
If it is a wish that will not come true Then wither!

L’arc~en~ciel – flower


Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us

Our Lady of Mount Carmel, pray for us

Stella Matutina, ora pro nobis

Our Lady of Perpetual Succor, pray for us

St Michael the Archangel, pray for us

St Jude, pray for us

St Benedict, pray for us

St Dominic, pray for us

St Anthony, pray for us