Emoticons and Dead Mice: Part Two

Disclaimer: Just because someone else got photos before I did, you are not allowed to gloat. Therefore if you have an axe to grind, you are kindly invited to leave, NOW. By entering this site, you will renounce your right to sue, defame, hack, firebomb, assassinate, disfigure, lay arms on, the author. If you refuse to take this shit, please leave this site and go here.

Oh, and I have nothing against Engineers. They are nice people. Mostly.

Dear readers, the long awaited:

Emoticons and Dead Mice: Part Two

I’ve mentioned about the photographs, which can be found on Christopher’s blog. Go to the side and look for it yourself. It’ll only take up so many ATP molecules.

After concluding an extremely severe brain and immune system damaging Hazard ANALysis Critical Control Point (HACCP) project, I have decided to continue on this post. I will go into further detail on ‘fwensterz terminologiesss’ in this instalment.

For all you people who do not know the dark side, ‘fwensterz terminologiesss’ is actually ‘friendster terminology’. For those who do not know what Frienster is, please ask your friends. For those who do not know what the word ‘terminology’ means, please check a dictionary. Ok, enough poppycock.

I’m sure you will find the following extremely familiar, as well as:

(In case you are unable to interpret this picture,
it says that ‘the idiot ah lian has only 700 testimonials on friendster and she’s complaining’. Exact words by Clare.)

Now let’s investigate what DIAO actually tries to say. ‘DIAO’ is apparently intended to give the effect of something like,


You see?

However, let me quote from the Prince of Mandopop, His Diao-ness Jay Chou. Taking reference from a time magazine article


Finally, he leans in close: “Let me tell you about diao.”

Diao is a Taiwanese slang usually translated as “cool” or “outrageous.” It literally means “penis.”

“It’s my personal philosophy,” he explains, “but it has nothing to do with religion. It means that whatever you do, you don’t try to follow others. Go your own way, you know?”


What?! DIAO is ‘penis’?! So now we see people going around DIAO, DIAO!? If we go around shouting ‘penis, penis!’ they’ll surely be arrested! So why not the same for shouting DIAO DIAO?

Allow me to sidetrack. A few weeks back The English Police and a few of their classmates were studying at NYP’s library, when the Inspector Sir Clement the Great decided to make use of this device. Then a few seconds later, shouts of “DIAO! DIAO!” were heard. Based on police surveillance, The English Police concluded the perpetrators to be Ah Bengs from SEG. Look, don’t accuse me of being an engineer basher. I have a healthy respect for engineers.

But not for stupid Ah Bengs!

In any case, can the word ‘Diao’ be accepted in common news? It’s like modern usage of ‘Wah lao’, a polite version of ‘Wah LAN’. I shall not explain what ‘Wah LAN’ means, because most of you are intelligent and well-informed people. But you see, no matter how polite try to be, ‘Wah lao’ in essence is still a crude word. This may be controversial to people of our generation and after, but the old people take ‘Wah lao’ and ‘Wah LAN’ to be equal and no less severe when compared.

So much for the evolution of LANguage.

But there are always two sides to a coin, and I have taken into account both sides. Should we continue to use to word ‘Diao’ to express either coolness or dismay? The choice is easy to make. The next instalment will cover on ‘Testis’.

Thank you and God love you!

Today’s post was sponsored by the Profanities Squad of the Royal English Police.

2 Responses to “Emoticons and Dead Mice: Part Two”

  1. 1 Anonymous September 16, 2005 at 11:13 pm

    This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

  2. 2 Anonymous September 16, 2005 at 11:16 pm

    This post has been removed by a blog administrator.

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