Archive for July, 2005

Lies and Truth

Common tests start tomorrow. I managed to finish most of the revision. I just hope that I can pull this off flawlessly.

I went to St Anne’s Church fun fair today. They were having their Feast Day. I bought one of those wrist bands. This one says, “Defend Life!” It glows in the dark too!

Some young teacher in Maris Stella died. I never knew her. She was a new teacher. It was heart failure, according to the official story. However, I am not going to speculate on the unofficial story. I will just continue to pray, for the living and the dead.

Even if the school authorities are withholding the truth from everyone, I guess they have a reason to. It, is a dirty word. Go figure.

Before Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger the so-called ‘Panzerkardinal’ became Benedict XVI this year, in the year 2000 he said, “Truth has always bothered people and is never comfortable.” I guess that is true. (no pun intended!) I mean, how long can we run away?

We should instead turn around and run forward.

Have you ever wondered what your dreams are supposed to mean? Well, I’d like to know. I’ve had many strange dreams in the past one year. My dreams are like a mirror of my life. They tell me what I am, and what I am not. But I have never succeeded in understanding them fully. Maybe it’s meant to be this way?

It is very hard to forget the dreams of old. But I try to forget the impossible ones.

君が見えなくて 見えなくて






Lies and Truth 墜ちてゆく


誰より大切なのに 信じてる気持ち揺れてる



(I can’t see you, can’t see you
I call out countless times
Though you’re this close to me
I miss you… I can’t stop it
Even if I hold you so tight you seem about to break
You don’t realize it

Lies and truth, I’m falling
I can’t find the truth
Though I treasure you more than anyone
My belief in you wavers
Even if I hold you so tight you seem about to break
You don’t realize it)

L’arc en ciel – Lies and Truth

Can a suicider go to heaven?

Q: I have been told that the Catholic Church teaches that anyone who commits suicide goes to hell. Is this true?

A: No. What the Church teaches is that anyone who commits a mortal sin and does not repent before death goes to hell. Mortal sin requires three conditions: grave matter, full knowledge of the gravity of the action, and full and free consent to the action. If any of those three conditions are missing, there is not mortal sin. All we can say for certain is that suicide constitutes grave matter. Given the fact that people who take their own lives often are very ill or under psychological stress, those factors can impede their knowledge and consent, making their actions tragic but not mortally sinful. Only someone who freely chooses to commit suicide with full knowledge of the gravity of the sinfulness would commit mortal sin by his suicide. Even then, between unconsciousness and final death, God might offer the person one final chance to repent, even if such an opportunity is not apparent to us.

The Church says this about the eternal destiny of those who have taken their own lives: “We should not despair of the eternal salvation of persons who have taken their own lives. By ways known to him alone, God can provide the opportunity for salutary repentance. The Church prays for persons who have taken their own lives” (CCC 2283).

Ave Maria

I was supposed to be studying this weekend, but it didn’t seem to be working out very well. Hell, it’s not working at all. I guess I’ll start tomorrow, I hope!

Yesterday I went to see the ACS(I) Chamber Orchestra’s performance with Pei Suan. She just came back from Holland along with the band people. All right! We got a &*%$ing gold!! Well done, people!

It was good to see her after so long. Anyway, I met her at Bugis. I was late, so she went to develop her photos from the WMC trip. Plenty of scenery and architecture. Among the photos are those of some churches. Apparently she bought some postcards for me, but she left it with her friends from another band. No prizes for guessing where they are now.

We were late for the concert, since the photos took so long to print. Looking at, I assumed that it would take a lot of walking to reach the school. Never did I expect that the bus stop was just in front of the gates! In any case, they didn’t let us in until the intermission. Shit! That’s half and hour of concert! So we just stood around outside. There were some aunties (parents?) selling some food. Oh, the concert was meant for fundraising for campus extension. Yeah, I prefer Maris Stella’s toilets to ACS (I)’s. But wah lan, they are a rich school! And they need to raise funds? That’s kind of laughable. No offence to all you ACS people reading this!

Then, their interval was half and hour! And it ended at 2100, when the ticket said 2130!! Then, they didn’t give us any program booklet or anything. Sigh, I think they really need the money. But all this was redeemed by the fact that they put up an excellent performance of Schubert’s Ave Maria. Yeah, call it Catholic bias if you must, but it was really fantastic. The soprano was this girl from the Singapore Lyric Opera’s Childrens’ Chorus (they were performing too).

Ave Maria – composed in 1825 by Franz Schubert (1797-1828)

Ave Maria Gratia plena
Maria Gratia plena
Maria Gratia plena
Ave, ave dominus
Dominus tecum

Benedicta tu in mulieribus
Et benedictus
Et benedictus fructus ventris
Ventris tui Jesus

Ave Maria
Ave Maria Mater dei
Ora pro nobis pecatoribus
Ora, ora pro nobis
Ora ora pro nobis pecatoribus

Nunc et in hora mortis
In hora mortis, mortis nostrae
In hora mortis nostrae
Ave Maria!

Excellent! Then they had one more song followed by a medley. The encore was disappointing. They merely replayed one of the parts from the medley. And PS remarked that the flutist was horrible. The sound came in at the wrong timing, and the note sounded a bit off.

In any case, we went nearby to have a drink before going home.

Sigh, I haven’t began studying yet. Common tests are a bitch. Well, there’s always tomorrow.

Oh God…

Despite four attempts at tissue culture of HEP-G2 (Liver cancer) cells, my group’s attempts all ended in failure! Shit!!!! Damn, where have I gone wrong… Is it my crappy grasp of protocol, carelessness, or maybe a combination of both? Argh!!

Fricking Cell Technology!!! Guess I should reconsider my plans for In case you were wondering what that is all about, let me explain a bit. One day, I had a fine idea, that is, to set up a company to sell tissue cultures and other stock materials. I was joking with the class people, that I can go into the black market.

Ian: Psssh….Want to buy Anthrax? It’s going at a good price!
Prospective Customer: Erm, no thanks…
Ian: (puts on gas mask)
Ian: Murf murf murf murf murf mufr! (Buy it, or I’ll open the canister in front of your face!)
No longer a prospective Customer: All right all right!! (Cowering in fear)

Heheheh….But really, I wouldn’t go into criminal activities (I shouldn’t.). It’s not right.

Anyway…Last week, wasn’t too bad. There was Human Biology and Disease test on Friday. Thank God it was easy, and double thank God that they didn’t ask much from Skeletal Systems. My goodness, it’s really horrible to memorize how bones are actually formed.

Os·si·fi·ca·tion (s-f-kshn)

  1. The natural process of bone formation.
  2. The hardening or calcification of soft tissue into a bonelike material.
  3. A mass or deposit of such material.


About Saturday, now Saturday was really a busy day. I went to school for Geo Council. We had orientation for the newcomers. Ok, less than 20 people, but still good. Legion meeting proceeded afterwards. It was supposed to be at 2pm, but we only started at 2.30 pm. I was late, because I left school late. Sheesh, we have to get rid of this bad habit of starting late. Come to think of it, it was even worse when Dominic was still around. We could actually start 1 hour late! No wonder my mother was so pissed off back then.

Well, meeting ended at around 4.30 pm. Hitched a ride to Toa Payoh from Eric. Loitered around for about an hour. I was supposed to meet Angela, Eugene and Robin for dinner. That dipshit Eugene was late again. Well, since he’s booking out for the weekend, I’ll go easy on him. He brought Leafy along. We made our way to Dunearn Road area. Pet was working at one of the restaurants there, so we went there to eat. I can’t remember the name of the shop but the place was called Greenwood avenue or something. The food was quite good, though the portions are quite small I must say. The ambience is not too bad. It’s a nice place to take your lover to, just make sure you take the cash along. The pricing is close to Fish and Co. I didn’t drink that day, did not feel like it. I was kind of broke too. They sell a lot of different varieties of beer there, with many intriguing names. Damn, it was really good to see them after so long.

My fun was short-lived as I had to leave early. I had to go back to Toa Payoh to meet another group of friends. I headed home at 11pm.

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

I went for Mass in the morning with my family the lunch. I went for Curia after that. Today, I was handed a heavy cross. Yes, I was given the presidency of Maris Stella Legion. Nicholas was appointed vice-chairman. Sigh, I shouldn’t be here, I really shouldn’t. Even juniors are leaving earlier than me. This sucks.

Went to eat with the guys later. Winson, Christopher, Gabriel and I went to play LAN after that. A warning to all: Never ever go to Shaw Tower to play LAN! The mice are screwy, and the network is laggy! A real crappy experience.

I was at YCK MRT and I was fricking suay! I was just standing at the waiting stand all of a sudden I got stung by a bee. On my stomach! You must be like ROFL LMAO OMG, but that’s what really happened. And no, I was not half naked, I was wearing a collared shirt. Damned bees.

July 6, Feast Day of St Maria Goretti

July 6, Feast Day of St Maria Goretti

Patron Saint for Youth, young women, purity and rape victims.

Born in Corinaldo, Ancona, Italy, on October 16 1890; her farmworker father moved his family to Ferrier di Conca, near Anzio. Her father died of malaria and her mother had to struggle to feed her children.

In 1902 an eighteen-year-old neighbor, Alexander, grabbed her from her steps and tried to rape her. When Maria said that she would rather died than submit, Alexander began stabbing her with a knife.

As she lay in the hospital, she forgave Alexander before she died. Her death didn’t end her forgivness, however.

Alexander was captured and sentenced to thirty years. He was unrepentant until he had a dream that he was in a garden. Maria was there and gave him flowers. When he woke, he was a changed man, repenting of his crime and living a reformed life. When he was released after 27 years he went directly to Maria’s mother to beg her forgiveness, which she gave. “If my daughter can forgive him, who am I to withold forgiveness,” she said.

When Maria was declared a saint in 1950, Alexander was there in the St. Peter’s crowd to celebrate her canonization. She was canonized by Pope Pius XII in 1950 for her purity as model for youth.

She is called a martyr because she fought against Alexander’s attempts at sexual assault. However, the most important aspect of her story is her forgiveness of her attacker — her concern for her enemy extending even beyond death. Her feast day is July 6. St. Maria Goretti is the patroness of youth and for the victims of rape.


Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on us

Immaculate Heart of Mary, pray for us

Our Lady of Mount Carmel, pray for us

Stella Matutina, ora pro nobis

Our Lady of Perpetual Succor, pray for us

St Michael the Archangel, pray for us

St Jude, pray for us

St Benedict, pray for us

St Dominic, pray for us

St Anthony, pray for us