Man of Blood

Work was bad the other day. We had to take blood from old folks. I’ve never taken blood from old folks before.

There was a change in the usual equipment too. Usually we use this:

and this

I had no idea that we had to make do with this

 

I have never used it before in my whole life.

It was not a good day. I was too clumsy with this butterfly needle and was taking samples too slowly. Eventually the coordinator made me switch with a more experienced nurse. Shit. I hope I don’t get negative feedback for this.

Oh well. At least the old people didn’t kill me for missing their veins. Haha.

The thing is, my hands were still shaking hours after the job ended. I think I have anxiety disorder. Can I have my PES downgrade now?

Another Cross Road

The end of NS is the beginning of another journey for me. Away from the sheltered bunkers of the army into the concrete jungle combined with harsh steel and sharp glass. Reality bites harder in real society.

I have begun part-time studies in Biotechnology. As a income source I have also done some locum work as a freelance phlebotomist. Unfortunately since my last assignment ended three weeks ago, I have no more work. It is time to find a new job.

I’m not getting a new job yet as I have not fully adjusted to student life. While I realize how important this venture is, I’m not fully immersed in the study mood. I should be making use of all the given time to study.

The biggest side effect is that I have no income. Not having any income is a painful thought. It pains me to see my bank account balance decreasing daily. Money, money, can be used for so many things.

My resolution is to find a job after this Legion camp in November. This camp is causing me endless headaches. There are also other issues to settle. Goodness, I’m not a full time church worker.

I must learn to manage my time better and stop this fear of not being able to cope overtake me. O Lord, make haste to help me!

Operationally Ready

I burned several days of off and leave clearing the backlog for one of my understudies, because he and the other fellow were deployed for Army Open House 2009. But I am thankful because I did not need to attend this time wasting event!

Even on the last day, I was still asked to clear more backlog and I could not refuse because it would not be courteous to refuse a free lunch treat from my superior. But I am thankful because I do not need to handle stores anymore even when I come back for ICT.

Never mind that I only asked for chicken porridge because I had a bad stomach, at least I had free lunch. Never mind that I was wasting my time at Amy Logistics Base, at least can look at pretty girls. Never mind that I couldn’t return my camp pass on time, precluding me from collecting my pink IC on Friday when the rest of my cohort had.

I came back on Tuesday to collect my pink IC, transcript and testimonial. And although I was one of the last to collect my pink IC, I was the first to collect my transcript and testimonial in its entirety. With ‘outstanding’ performance and conduct of course. I am, a good soldier.

Now I can gloriously say,

‘ORD LOH!’

Office of Readings 25 August 2009

Reading

St John Chrysostom on the temptations of the devil

The five paths of repentance

Shall I list the paths of repentance? There are certainly many of them, many and various, and all of them lead to heaven.

The first path is the path of condemnation of sins. As Isaiah says, Tell your sins, and you will be acquitted. And the Psalmist adds: I said “I will bear witness against myself before the Lord,” and you forgave the guilt of my sin. So you, too must condemn the sins you have committed. Condemn them, and that condemnation will excuse you in front of the Lord, since whoever condemns the sins he has committed will be slower to commit them next time. Stir up your own conscience to be your accuser – so that when you come before the judgement-seat of the Lord no-one will be rise up to accuse you.

This is the first path of repentance but the second is in no way inferior to it in excellence. It is to forget the harm done to us by our enemies, to master our anger, to forgive the sins of those who are slaves together with us. As much as we do this, so much will our own sins against the Lord be forgiven. So this is the second path to the expiation of our sins. As the Lord says, Yes, if you forgive others their failings, your heavenly Father will forgive you yours.

Would you like to know the third path of repentance? It is prayer: fervent prayer, sincere and focused prayer, prayer coming from the depths of the heart.

If you want to know the fourth path, I will tell you it is the giving of alms. It has great power.

And finally, if someone acts with modesty and humility, that path is no less effective as a way to deprive sin of its substance. Look at the publican, who had no good deeds to speak of. In place of good deeds he offered humility, and the huge burden of his sins fell away.

So now I have shown you the five paths of repentance. First, condemnation of sins. Second, forgiving the sins of those near us. Third, prayer. Fourth, almsgiving. Fifth, humility.

So do not be idle, but every day advance along all these paths at once. They are not hard paths to follow. Poverty is no excuse for not setting out on the journey. Even if you are destitute you can do all these things: put aside anger, carry humility in front of you, pray hard, condemn your sins. Poverty is no obstacle – not even to that path of penitence that demands money: that is, almsgiving. Remember the story of the widow’s mite.

Now we have learnt the right way to heal our wounds, let us apply these remedies. Let us regain true health and confidently receive the blessings of Holy Communion. Thus we may come, filled with glory, to the glory of Christ’s kingdom, and receive its eternal joys through the grace, mercy and kindness of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Offering it up

Allocutio for Curia Meeting 19 July 2009

In the course of our work, we will encounter many difficulties. They may be big and small, but there is one thing in common: we like to complain about them. It is not wrong to release some frustration or to tell your troubles to a close friend, but sometimes we end up hurting others if we are not careful with our words. And the problem is nowhere to being solved because we are just so tired. Maybe we should learn to offer up our suffering. What does it mean? We can make an act of love by saying ‘My God I offer you my suffering’. We can also tie it in with an intention. For example, for someone’s healing or conversion. We can also this during the sacred liturgy especially the Holy Mass. As the priest offers up the holy sacrifice of bread and wine, we too must raise up our hearts ‘Sursum Corda’.

What are the benefits? We can cultivate the virtues of patience, resignation to the divine will, and perseverance. It gives us a sense of peace because our suffering is made holy; it is not in vain. We also avoid harming others. When we offer up our suffering to God, we can be sure that he is also watching over us, always ready to help.

Last Sixty Three Days of NSF Life

I am entering the last sixty three days of my fulltime National Service. One journey ends and another will begin soon. I need to settle the remaining matters at work as soon as possible, or else I will not be able to leave in peace.

Yet obstacles continue to rise before my face. When one job is finished, another one pops up. Work never ends. I try to organize and plan my work by breaking them up into small bits but they seem to be ever increasing;  any form of time tabling and scheduling seems hopeless. Time is running out.

I’m beginning to think that I cannot settle everything nicely in time for my replacements. I work overtime; I forgo my nights’ out; I even delay my own book out timing, but nothing seems to be working. Maybe it is time to be the bad guy, and do what my predecessors called ‘Throwing The Shit’.

But isn’t that just taking the easy way out? I’ll just be like a thousand other NSFs who did the same thing, thus adding to our inglorious reputation for being lazy. (Shut up, I will not sign on as a regular soldier.)

Maybe I am not working efficiently enough. In this age it is often said that we should work smart, not work hard. An easy thing to say, but hard to do. For someone who is used to putting in 100% effort and yet dismayed with unfruitful results, maybe I’m too behind the times.

A friend once told me, ‘You want to do the right thing but you complain so much.’ She is right. I must finish this race well. By the grace of God, I must.

May the Lord grant us quiet night and perfect END! Amen!

To Taiwan and Back: Part 5

I apologise for the all the late postings. It seems like I don’t like writing whenever I don’t have the mood nor time.

This is the last installment of my chronicles in Taiwan. Sunday, being Dies Dominca, is the day we worship. Thanks to the girls from the Duns Scotus Center, I managed to get the Mass timing and location of some Catholic churches. I actually attempted to find one on Friday night. Unfortunately the doors of the nearest church were closed and there was no bulletin of any sort. The priest house seemed to be empty as well. Nonetheless on Sunday morning I took the public bus to Church of the Holy Family. This parish is located in Da-An (大安區).

Grotto

Sanctuary

Nave

I was expecting to hear the Hokkien Mass but then it turned out to be the Mandarin Mass instead. I had little problem with following the liturgy. The Mandarin hymnals in Singapore are all imported from Taiwan. They don’t practise tongue communion though; I was denied it.

St Joseph

Mary

Sacred Heart of Jesus

St Theresa of Avila

There was stained glass all over the church. This one depicts the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin.

The next place I went to was the Cathedral.

Modern architecture, obviously.

Mother and child

Sanctuary

Nave

Our Lady’s altar

Thus concluding the church visiting for the morning. I made my way back to Ximen for some last minute shopping as well as for lunch.

The Cathedral is closest to Shuanglian Station. I took a long walk in the underground street that connects it to Zhongshan Station and subsequently Taipei City Station. This street is known as Zhongshan Metro Shopping Mall. It is home to many bookshops.

There is an open space straight ahead where there are youths practicing Hip Hop dances.

The Rapid Transit Administration building is also located here.

I finally made my way to Taipei City Station where I changed trains towards Ximen. My room mate Jing Wei informed me the night before of the existence of a maid cafe there. It took me quite a while to find it but fortunately I made it in time for lunch.

This place called Moe Moe Centre sells manga, anime and other related goods. The main attraction is of course the Maid Cafe. I regret to inform you that I was not able to take any pictures as it was expressively forbidden by the management. Maybe next time.

In any case the experience was quite weird. The waitress was dressed in a French Maid’s costume and when welcoming you into the restaurant, would curtsey and say ‘お归りなさいませ、ご主人样’.

‘Welcome back Master.’ Oh dear, how embarrassing. The waitresses are quite pretty though. Food is decent, though you have to get the salad, soup and bread ala buffet style. They also refill your water regularly asking ‘主人要加水吗?’ When you wish to place the order for the main course she will ask ‘主人要点菜吗?’ I wasn’t really used to it. Still, I will pay a visit there again if I ever go back to Taipei.

All good things must come to an end. I made my way back to the hotel to catch the bus to the hotel.

Gundam on display at the airport duty free shop.

Home sweet home. On display are spoils from Taiwan.

Ah! I miss Taiwan! When can i go back? =(

To Taiwan and Back: Part 4

Finally, we have come to the best part. The pictures I have taken are the fruit of two days of unrestricted exploration in Taipei.

After lunch, we returned to the hotel and were released for free and easy R&R. I took the bus to Ximending with the drivers staying in the hotel. From there on, I made my own way around the place. Ximending (西門町) is a large shopping street where the young people like to go to. The latest fashion can be found in this place. It also has a large collection of shops with Japanese goods such as music and anime.

I did a little bit of window shopping, and as I was wandering around the place, something caught my eye.

Maybe they were imitating modern fashion, where people like to wear the rosary around their neck, even though they have no idea what it is for, nor have they ever prayed with it. But most pleasantly, I had stumbled upon a Catholic bookshop.

From the looks of it, business did not seem very good. The shopkeeper was very happy to see someone take notice of the shop. So I entered.

The John Duns Scotus Bible Reading Promotion Centre (思高讀經推廣中心) is an apostolate that is run by the Franciscans in Taiwan. They print Mandarin Bibles for the whole of Taiwan and other Catholic literature. The shop also has sacramentals from the Holy Land.

The two ladies running the shop, 廬琳琳 and 林美利. I didn’t ask for their English names. Oops. They were nice people, and I spent almost an hour in their shop conversing with them. Thank God I joined the Chinese Legion, if not I would have nothing to build on. Before leaving I purchased some Holy Cards, paperweights and a rosary ring.

And they made me take a picture with their patron St Francis too! What nice people. I shall pray for the success of their apostolate.

I spent the rest of the afternoon sightseeing.

The famous Ah Zhong Mian Xian with ridiculously long queue.

The Red House Theater

Zhongshan Hall, similar to our Victoria Concert Hall. In the background they were preparing for the Taipei Poetry Festival.

I was due to meet my friend Yi Cheng at Gongguan in the evening. Remember the guy who made me disinfect my hands with alcohol after defecating in the forest during the Gunung Tahan expedition? He has since returned to Taiwan after ORD. He is now studying at National Tsing Hua University (NTHU).

He happened to be in Taipei for the weekend doing community service. I was happy to be able to meet an old friend in his country. Gongguan (公館) is where National Taiwan University is located. We decided to go visit the university. They were celebrating their hundredth anniversary of their founding.

Festivities and band performances

Bell tower

Library

Not having consumed dinner yet, we decided to eat at the nearby night market. We settled for some Oyster Mee Sua. We had mango ice desert after that. It was a really big plate with ice cream on top. Best shared with a few people.

I also managed to find a wet market selling cheap dried beef jerky. Excellent stuff. My decision not to purchase from the tourist shops we came across in the morning was correct. We went to Xinyi (信義) after that. Xinyi is a upmarket shopping district. Very expensive. Xinyi is where the Taipei 101 is located.

Business seemed to be quite bad, even though it was a Saturday night.

Being avid readers, I decided to take a visit to PageOne. PageOne incidentally is a Singaporean company, which has branches in Singapore, Malaysia and Hong Kong.

The Taipei 101 from afar.

We also paid a visit to Eslite Bookshop (誠品書店). It is the biggest book retailer in Taiwan. Its size trumps PageOne’s anyday. Regretably we did not visit the 24-hour branch at Dunhua (敦化). Oh well maybe next time.

No-smoking spaces have the most attitude.

This is an interesting poster I first came across at the 802 Military Hospital in Kaoshiung. It seems like the Taiwanese Health Ministry is trying to ban smoking in public spaces, and they have enlisted Jolin Tsai to help them. It would be wonderful if I had one of these posters in KMC. Then I won’t have so many idiot smokers reporting sick for cough and flu.

Next stop: Chiang Kai Shek Memorial Hall.

National Theater

Chiang Kai Shek’s tomb.

This is the Freedom Square (自由廣場). If you read the news last year, this was the stage of student protests by the Wild Strawbery movement (野草莓運動).

Human garbage?

Yi Cheng with glee. ‘Come savour the rebellous spirit of the Taiwanese youth.’ Lol.

Press Freedom is a Human Right.

225 hours of sit-in protest.

Me standing near the gates.

So marks the end of Saturday Night in Taipei…

Coming next: Part 5

and you forgave the guilt of my sin

Psalm 31 (32)

Antiphon: Happy the man to whom the Lord imputes no blame.

Blessed is he whose sins are forgiven,
whose transgressions are hidden away.
Happy the man to whom the Lord imputes no blame,
and in whose spirit there is no deceit.
While I kept silent,
my bones grew old
as I groaned all day long.
While your hand lay heavy on me,
by day and by night,
my strength was dried up as if by summer heat.
I made my sin known to you,
and I did not hide my faults.
I said “I will bear witness against myself before the Lord,”
and you forgave the guilt of my sin.
This is why every saint will pray to you in due time,
and even in the great flood he will not be touched.
You are my refuge, you will preserve me from trouble,
you will surround me with cries of deliverance.
I will give you understanding and teach you the path you are to follow;
I will keep watch over you.
Do not be like the horse and the mule,
without understanding:
if you approach them with bit or bridle,
they will not come near.
Many are the sufferings of the wicked,
but the Lord’s mercy will protect those who trust in him.
Rejoice in the Lord and be glad, you just.
Shout for joy, you upright of heart.

Glory be to the Father and to the Son and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be,
world without end.
Amen.

Antiphon: Happy the man to whom the Lord imputes no blame.

and carry you where you do not wish to go

Friday of Seventh Week of Easter

John 21: 15 – 19
15 When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.”
16 A second time he said to him, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.”
17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” And he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.
18 Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you girded yourself and walked where you would; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish to go.”
19 (This he said to show by what death he was to glorify God.) And after this he said to him, “Follow me.”